Friday, May 30, 2014
Every day we are so overloaded with pictures. I am guilty of it myself- I find myself snapping photos of my son, of my food, the sky- of just about anything! Its funny- I have so many thousands of "snapshots" that at the moment were seemingly pointless. But I'm beginning to realize they are not pointless- because someday the person in the photos may no longer be with us. I am so thankful that my Mom loved taking pictures- at least in her later years. She didn't care how silly she looked with the crazy party hat or cake on her face- she indulged my love of chasing people with a camera.
When she was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer and the radiation and chemo caused her to start losing her hair, many of her friends brought her cute hats and scarves to wear. I did a "photo shoot" with her- and I am so glad I did. I have so many pictures that truly show her personality and her quirky humor. I have pictures of her with my son, with me, with family, that I will treasure always. I captured her cancer journey through photos- and in her last days took a photo of us holding hands so I could keep it forever.
My point? Don't stop taking pictures. When you have family gatherings- take snapshots and selfies (yes I said it) and get everyone together for a group picture. Overcome the groans with a smile- because even though people say they don't want to be in a picture- trust you me when they look back on them five, ten, or twenty years later they will be thankful for that memory. In this day and age it is easier than ever to capture a memory- just don't forget to keep that memory by printing your photos and/or saving to a hard drive for safe keeping.
Take pictures- make memories- we are not promised tomorrow.
Friday, May 23, 2014
If then you cannot do even a very little thing, why do you worry about other matters? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; but I tell you, not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass in the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, how much more will He clothe you? Luke 12:26-28
Not what we want to hear...right? But yet here I am....with another test. I will not go into details at the moment, but it definitely is going to be something that I will have to lean on God for. I will have to trust Him that there is a reason for this. I will have to believe that no matter how minor this may seem to someone else- that God knows it means the world to me and is breaking my heart. I know there are many many people dealing with worse things, but I also know that God counts the hairs on my head- so he cares about everything that his children care about. I will have to believe that God will give me the wisdom to make the right decisions. Sometimes I want to say- enough already! Can we please have a break! God knows the beginning and the end- it is not my job to figure it out, only to trust in his timing and purpose.
More than anything, I want my Mom right now. I look at her picture and just wish she could talk to me. I want her to tell me that everything is going to be fine, and that God has equipped me to handle this. I want her to put her arms around me and tell me that she is proud of me and I am doing a great job. I want so badly to hear her say- "I love you Baby Girl." Would that make it all go away? Of course not, but it sure would make me feel better.
Maybe you are going through a trial you do not understand. In times of trials I always go back to my favorite bible verse. Jeremiah 29:11. I have stood on that verse many days and will continue.
The test will become a testimony one day. I can feel it.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Ahhh yes, Mother's Day. In the weeks leading up to Mothers day the stores are overflowing with candy, cards, flowers and teddy bears. For most, it is a day that is looked forward to- the one day of the year where Mom's everywhere are told not to cook or clean- and most times are lavished on for the day. Flowers are received, homemade gifts from children are oooohed and ahhhed over. It is a wonderful day.
For others- it is a sad reminder that they have no mother or wife to buy a gift for this year or any year from now on. It is a day to reflect on the wonderful woman gone too soon. A day to think of all the wonderful memories and special times you had, to look at pictures and think. It is also a sad reminder for those who have babies in Heaven. A day that we wish we could skip most of the time. A day to fight through and make every effort to be happy and enjoy the day- even though it may take everything you have.
My Mom always made Mother's day special for ME. Yes- for me. When I became a Mother- every year like clockwork she would send me a card and something special in the mail. We would laugh because every year it was the same thing. "Um, I got you a Mother's day gift but its going to be late..." She would say- "same here!". Very rarely did we ever give or receive gifts on time- it was a joke to us- we were just fashionably late gift givers :)
This will be my 2nd Mother's Day without my Mom. I thought I was doing pretty good until I was watching TV last night and saw where people were being interviewed about what they loved most about their Moms. It was touching and heart wrenching at the same time. They were telling their Mom's thank you for everything- and most of their Mom's were in the audience alive and well.
Even though she is not here physically, I see it fit to tell her how I feel on this Mother's Day week and would like to share.
"Mom, I want to tell you how much I love you and miss you. You have always been there for me- fought for me and supported me. I am the woman I am today because of you. You taught me to love everyone and judge no one. You taught me that family is everything and real friends are forever. You taught me to love myself and to fight for what I believe in. You are beautiful inside and out and I thank God I was able to spend 34 years with you. I would give anything to hug your neck again but we know that will come some day. Thank you for the butterflies and ladybugs- I know that is you."
Your Baby Girl
I wanted to do something special- so I planted a memorial garden in my backyard last weekend in honor of my Mom. Whether you have lost your Mom recently or years ago- I encourage you to do something that you and/or your Mom would enjoy this Mother's Day. If you are a Mom, remember this is your day too. Be kind to yourself- its ok to be sad and miss her but allow yourself to enjoy your family and "your" day.
It will be difficult but we will survive another Motherless Day.